Mallowman is the confection behind our hearts, and Pretz L. Mann is the man behind the Mallowman behind our hearts."Few people realize there's a Pretzel-stick-man behind the Mallowsuit,"
bawls Pretz behind the scenes. "And when they do, they all raise some ethical outcry or another. Look, Mallowmen live up to their own stereotypes. Why is it any different when a Mallowman is played by a Pretzel? Get some salsa, morons."
Pretz's work has other dangers behind the smiles. He must take re-salting breaks every 15 minutes to keep him from binding to the suit and becoming licorice.
"It's a cushy job, but look--Pretzels aren't popular right now in this economic crisis," harps Pretz. "The unemployed have nothing but their marshmallows and their bonfires. We just gotta lay low and wait for the re-emerging yuppie pretzel class."
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