Marshmallow in the Mirror

Michael's Birthday Party at Prospect Park got a teensy bit Mallow-i-fied! Um...am I supposed to say something about Michael Jackson here? Give out my personal philosophy? No? Ok, phew.

I laughed! I cried! I bled!

I've had this idea for like forever. But now that I'm in a nurse's office, I'm trying to get people to do a little dance number when they bring up a new blood bag--"There will be blood todaaaaay..."
So far I have no takers.
So, the animated musical rendition of There Will Be Blood will be performed by the Mallowman Players!

From my home to yours

So while I should have been animating or, dare I say it, blogging, I've been talking with a certain special someone halfway around the globe. It's really amazing how technology brings people together. Which is the subject of an upcoming Mallowman cartoon!

Calling Doctor Fluffstarch!

The next Mallowman.2 cartoon is a suspenseful romantic drama about hot cocoa vs doctors. How strangely coincidental that I now work in a doctor's office consuming massive amounts of free hot cocoa! And pretzels. And ice pops, graham crackers, apple juice, ginger ale, and when I'm really desperate, saltless saltines. I'm so new to work benefits, and I'm taking revenge. The cons is having someone chuck a bloodbag over my head while the nurse next to me catches it with a horrible squelching noise and I have a little lie down in the staff room.

Like Tea for Marshmallows

Here I am at the Tea Lounge. Now, if you're a tea lounge enthusiast, more power to you. But I stopped coming after I unwisely stepped in during the daytime when it was overrun with babys, baby carriages, and pregnant women communally giving birth. There were more dirty diapers than people and foul water was oozing copiously from a clogged toilet and seeping into the old couches, as if the fabric had room for more stains. And though the stench was so rich it was on line for tea, people were still there, business as usual, their olfactory glands having committed suicide within the first five minutes. I haven't been back since.

Yet here I am. Because the Cocoa Bar, so conveniently located, stops serving lappies after 8pm. Park Slope used to be so...you know, cool. The laptop freelancers could take a break from their apartments and head for a nice bistro for some tea, an enormously priced muffin, and free wifi--and crank out some cartoons or make a few millions e-trading. Our only enemy was the horde of baby factories. Now the Tea Lounge is our last fortification. Nice is no longer nice to lappies. Sweet Melissa's tables are too fragile and lace covered to hold a 2 lb lappy. Hancos is awesome but closes early. And tonight I walked into the Cocoa Bar wondering why it wasn't thronged with people (no, just one baby factory) and was pointed to the sign. So what could I do but return a ruby encrusted muffin and head to this stinkpot.

Oh, if only I checked the forums. Apparently there is quite a stink about laptops in coffee shops. Excising the leet speak and charming vulgarity, the argument seems to be that people pay $2 for coffee then sit down for 8 hours hogging a seat and ruining small businesses. Which I suppose would make sense if the posts weren't written by people who aren't even small business owners, just the usual modern day internet hydrocephiles. I'd say fine, then charge for wifi. People doing serious work like writing or animation don't depend on it, and we won't waste time messing on the internet. Or put a minimum on lappy users (try getting a seat at a nice restaurant and ordering a saltine.) Cocoa Bar, try selling something other than cocoa and $3 biscotti. But putting coffee over people isn't fair. Especially if it's really hot coffee. We can't get rid of the baby factories (even where there's a bar--right, tea lounge?) why pick on lappies just because we have a smaller lobby and less screaming mouths? I used to go to Nice to get some animation done over a meal while waiting for laundry. Now they lost a regular customer--nice going! Ok, I better quit while I'm ahead--sorry for the autobiographical blog

Website!

Our website is up! Themallowman.com. At the time of this post it's only a filler, but I'm excited anyway. Mallowman.com is taken by some dude in Bentarmpit Creek, so we almost went with mrmarshmallowman.com. But themallowman.com is less redundant. We will have links to Mallowman animated cartoons (old and new), a Mallowman Store for your marshmallow shopping needs, and this very blog that I'm blogging about. Very exciting--we are well on our way!

Where Baby Marshmallows Come From

I promise you, this will NOT be a Mallowman! As much as I absolutely despise the modern dating scene, I will not take it out on my lovely audience. In fact, I won't even continue with my rant. Though there will be a Mallowman that addresses the title of this post, and it's much, much less complicated than our entire population of insecure wussies who will soon depend on trailer park inbreeding to propagate the species. End of rant.

Ankgor Marsh

Here is a preview of a probable Mallowman (Mallowmina?) cartoon, probable because I want to do something involving Cambodia. There was something about the beautiful Khmer dancers drowning in a sea of bloated, masticating tourists that spoke to me. And anyway I've been dying to do some rotoscope animation of the Monkey King doing it with a golden mermaid.
Also, we are still trying to track down the orchestra of land mine victims so we can have permission to use their music in exchange for exposure and/ or a small donation.

YouTube Ready

Well, that's 6 YouTube videos with recut original music uploaded and running! Not a bad day's work, eh?

Mallow Music!

Quitzow is multitalented, fun and sexy...Just like Mallowman! Which is why I am sawing-my-own-head-off thrilled to have permission to use my favorite underground band's music for Mallowman's cartoon. Thanks, Erica!
Quitzow!

A Bestial Treat

Vegetarians beware! The innocent looking marshmallow is packed with gelatin, a derivative from the skins and bones of animals. And animals don't give it freely!
All this is sort of strange and sad, since a similar substance has been used in Asia without hurting anyone. Agarose is derived from the cell walls of algae, and I can attest to its tastiness.

But I do go in for a huge bloody steak now and then.

The Pretzel behind the Marshmallow

Mallowman is the confection behind our hearts, and Pretz L. Mann is the man behind the Mallowman behind our hearts.
"Few people realize there's a Pretzel-stick-man behind the Mallowsuit,"
bawls Pretz behind the scenes. "And when they do, they all raise some ethical outcry or another. Look, Mallowmen live up to their own stereotypes. Why is it any different when a Mallowman is played by a Pretzel? Get some salsa, morons."
Pretz's work has other dangers behind the smiles. He must take re-salting breaks every 15 minutes to keep him from binding to the suit and becoming licorice.
"It's a cushy job, but look--Pretzels aren't popular right now in this economic crisis," harps Pretz. "The unemployed have nothing but their marshmallows and their bonfires. We just gotta lay low and wait for the re-emerging yuppie pretzel class."

Make it Stop!

So if I were interviewed on the Channel 55 news by Moe Mutton, I'd be asked "Where do you get your ideas come from?" To-with I'd parry with another question, "How do you make them stop?"
I mean, honestly, I was stuck in a cubicle for only 8 hours and came up with 3 Mallowman cartoon ideas. And then there are the obvious sources, like the toilet and the shower. And then I do something for the first time that day, like brushing my teeth, and I imagine "How would Mallowman do it? Would he use Marshmallow Fluff? How would cavities respond to that?" Dammit, now I have another story to animate.